What is it that you fear most? Insects? Animals? Ghosts? Paranormal activities? My fear was, making a girl angry. It would hurt me so much that I would cry. Even if I didn't love her at all, or even had a relationship before, or even, we just met.
In my past relationship, I made my girl angry and sad. I hurt her at times, deeply. For my own selfish reasons. I know, I'm not a perfect man, but I'm trying, if only she would give me a break and not scold me for little and petty things. I used to think that it was all my fault, but now, she's just covering up her lies. That doesn't matter, I don't want to know any more. I'm just done with her. She gave me so much shit, and I also returned it. We went head to head.
We didn't talk, for almost a week, I didn't want to bother as I want to move on with my life as she suggested. I missed her at times, and when I told her, she shushed me up and said that she didn't want to talk to me any more. So I kept quiet, I didn't reply at all. Not a word. I moved on with my life. Talking with other people, hanging out, going for drinking sessions, as in restaurants, not in bars or clubs. Even the word "club" would make my heart stop awhile. That was how much I suffered, no, I don't want any more shit from her. I've had enough of her constant anger and remarks. Enough is enough. I have given her face too much. Its time not to care. I went karaoke sessions with my friends, singing our lungs out, laughing about our voices. It was a good moment.
And F.Y.I, I'm not saying all this to talk shit about you. No, I don't want an argument. Its simple, you said you wanted out of my life, I give you the green light. You don't matter to me any more. And I mean it. There's no point in me doing so, you'll just be using me and covering it all up, giving me the experience of making out with you, no. And yes, this is what I was thinking all the while, no, I don't want to have anything to do with you. Its not that I don't know everything about you, the thing is, you only know this little about me. You do not know, the true self of me. My secrets, no. You don't.
Suddenly, after all this while, I just realised, I have loved you. Now, I try not to care about you. Yes, I try not to. I want to move on. So don't treat me like I'm your tape recorder. When you're all down and sad and lonely you look for me. When you're all cheers and smiles you find someone else. You complain to me about your friends, but complains when I complain a lot. You're no different.
I wish for you to have a healthy and awesome life without me. Because I guess I'm here on earth to make girls like you realise, that life is not that way to live. Life isn't just about clubs, drinking, smoking, studying, partying, gossiping and whatever more you do. If that's life for you, boy I'm sure it sucks. Thank God I'm out of that hell hole I was brought into, at least I know now what it feels like. I won't ever set foot there. I promised myself. Hell I wouldn't even do it for my friend, why you?
Because all this while. I know that I loved you like crazy. But when I always do, you don't feel the same. You know you're right, we're not meant to be together. But I'm glad we tried. Right now, I'm going to find the girl of my dreams, as there are better girls here than there. There, its not a place to study, its just a place of lust, alcohols, tobaccos and games. No, my life won't revolve around it.
And I thank God for it. I wish He would save you one day too, and you will see that only in that place is full of hell. I pray, that you will be saved from there one day, just hang on, for a little while longer. I still care for you. Its just that I don't show it. :)
So guys, here's the information, never make a girl angry or sad. Don't even try to hurt her to test her or anything which might seem fun to us guys, its just for our chat and joke, not to be tested. A girl is precious. Every single one of them. ;) It only takes the special one to realise.
.bmp)
