"Now you know all this while who'd the one who is childish? You. You were the one who was always nagging me this and that, telling me all kinds of stories, making me fantasize about you and think how pretty and beautiful you were. I thought of our future times together, when we will cuddle, when we will kiss, when we get married, when I lived with her and a whole bunch of kids(Haha). But all that time it was short-lived. I was just naive and a fool. But after all, it wasn't all her fault, I mean look at it the mature way, don't just blame other people, the best is don't blame it on anyone else, but some people do, I feel stressed, I feel as though my whole entire body is gonna burst into pieces and then just-forget-me-forever. Right. Besides, she was the one who was attracted to my lameness first. I was being lame, right, but come on, I'm just nineteen man! I wanna live! Not sulk in working and studying and studying and wokring, ah, I can't stand that man. Give me a break. I honestly, seriously, sincerely hate studying, but on the other hand, I honestly, seriously, sincerely loved her. Oh my! I'm talking rubbish again! Anyway, I really thought she was the one for me, even though there was an obvious age gap in between. But you know, sorry, *whispers*, this is gonna be kinda annoying! But you know, I'm telling the truth okay, and I mean the truth truth, not just the truth, the first time I met them, I mean her and her family, I didn't like them, they gave me a bad impression at first, talking kinda openly and their mum didn't really bother. So I was feeling kinda awkward. But I will talk openly in front of my friends when I consider them close, yeah, close, which is like I know what they do, their opinions on this and that, teenagers these days, I mean that's way mature talk(Haha), which I consider that. Anyway. My point is that they were talking kinda openly and they were loud. And I mean, seriously, loud. People do not know the true me, but from my face, you can tell a lot about me, except my secrets, which is safe with me, I think. Anyways, I don't care if it spills out, so what? Everyone has secrets, it just depends on how serious it is. We didn't meet up until one day when my sister told me she was coupling her brother. I was like what the hell. But anyway, I didn't care at first, going to work and as usual, looking out for pretty girls, which I did, and she was beyond wow pretty. I'm not gonna mention her name though, anyway, back to the story, I was just usual, happy, talkative employee in my store- I work in a bookstore namely Borders, but then everything changed when she started to talk to me. I was like oh, okay, another one of the girls, messages-me-and-then-forgets-me kinda thing. You know, some of you would do, I mean girls. But to my surprise, she did not, at first I thought, wow, boy does this girl talk a lot. The strangest part of her was not saying good night everytime we messaged till around midnight. Then she just dozes off and continues again the next day, first, she was doing that all the time, while I was just being the passive kinda guy, you know, the boy in me, HAHA."
"After all, my sister told me she liked me, so I went okay, but I don't. That was where I was wrong, all the while. My colleagues in my store kiept asking me, "Eh Ben, where your girlfriend la?" And then I'll go, "Don't have la." And after knowing that she liked me, I lied still, continuing my daily chores of lying to them. But the one day I realised this familiar emotion inside me, love. I noticed I started to enjoy talking to her and, I finally admitted to my sister that I loved her, hey catch or grasp the key word! LOVE! LOVE dammit! I was so in love with her that I felt that I am in love heads over heels for her. I was at the tip of her toes, gosh, if only she knew that, if she wanted to know. But I noticed something weird about her, sorry dear!, she gets kinda creeped up if ever a guy tells her he loves her. Maybe she's a guy? HAHA. No way in HELL! Yeah, get that, no way in HELL she's a guy! But maybe, some guy genes you know, the biology crap, the DNAs of guys and girls mix up and ta-da, how transvestite came about. Crap, sorry for the basic biology rubbish. Anyway, back to the sad love story, besides, I don't really mind that, I mean, I tell her sometimes, even though I planned to tell her in the face, didn't wanna repeat what happened when I was a teenager. I don't wanna go bragging about my pass life anymore. But I will, from time to time. Something new. But hey, look at the bright side, she liked me! Uh-who-cares-anyway? Besides her mother, I would do fine. Her mum had several requirements before I can get to her daughter. That, I was fine with it too. I'm almost done with her mother's "quest". Haha. But i guess its not valid anymore, is it? I don't care. After all, love has no limits. I find love to be very complicated, strange and beyond your wildest dream. After that day, I asked her a question, the key question in pursuing our relationship, it ended. It did not even started. I did not even asked her to be my girlfriend yet, no, and we just stopped there. I didn't wanna sulk in my own sad feeling and kept thinking I was coaxed or tricked into her virtual love. There goes hell, my heart breakes into a trillion pieces and without doubt, I cried. I cried and was surprisingly early for work the next day. I felt as though I had a boost from my tears. But yeah, the days after that weren't what I thought.. It was hell. I was hurt still, and she was being selfish, I tried to understand her, she said I was perfect, I said I'm not, I told her she was sexy and hot, because she wanted to cut down on her weight, she said she's fat, i said she's fine, she said random guys smsed her telling her they loved her, and she says they're annoying. Well, I'm part of her statistic now. Now I'm just gonna give it all up and totally forget this has ever happened, and refresh again I just hope to meet the girl who would appreciate me for who I am and what I will give and love them. Well, I hope she would be reading this, because after all, the person who wrote this story was the boy in the man inside me.
I hope dear readers you guys would understand this. And to the girl I write this story to, I still do love you.
"After all, my sister told me she liked me, so I went okay, but I don't. That was where I was wrong, all the while. My colleagues in my store kiept asking me, "Eh Ben, where your girlfriend la?" And then I'll go, "Don't have la." And after knowing that she liked me, I lied still, continuing my daily chores of lying to them. But the one day I realised this familiar emotion inside me, love. I noticed I started to enjoy talking to her and, I finally admitted to my sister that I loved her, hey catch or grasp the key word! LOVE! LOVE dammit! I was so in love with her that I felt that I am in love heads over heels for her. I was at the tip of her toes, gosh, if only she knew that, if she wanted to know. But I noticed something weird about her, sorry dear!, she gets kinda creeped up if ever a guy tells her he loves her. Maybe she's a guy? HAHA. No way in HELL! Yeah, get that, no way in HELL she's a guy! But maybe, some guy genes you know, the biology crap, the DNAs of guys and girls mix up and ta-da, how transvestite came about. Crap, sorry for the basic biology rubbish. Anyway, back to the sad love story, besides, I don't really mind that, I mean, I tell her sometimes, even though I planned to tell her in the face, didn't wanna repeat what happened when I was a teenager. I don't wanna go bragging about my pass life anymore. But I will, from time to time. Something new. But hey, look at the bright side, she liked me! Uh-who-cares-anyway? Besides her mother, I would do fine. Her mum had several requirements before I can get to her daughter. That, I was fine with it too. I'm almost done with her mother's "quest". Haha. But i guess its not valid anymore, is it? I don't care. After all, love has no limits. I find love to be very complicated, strange and beyond your wildest dream. After that day, I asked her a question, the key question in pursuing our relationship, it ended. It did not even started. I did not even asked her to be my girlfriend yet, no, and we just stopped there. I didn't wanna sulk in my own sad feeling and kept thinking I was coaxed or tricked into her virtual love. There goes hell, my heart breakes into a trillion pieces and without doubt, I cried. I cried and was surprisingly early for work the next day. I felt as though I had a boost from my tears. But yeah, the days after that weren't what I thought.. It was hell. I was hurt still, and she was being selfish, I tried to understand her, she said I was perfect, I said I'm not, I told her she was sexy and hot, because she wanted to cut down on her weight, she said she's fat, i said she's fine, she said random guys smsed her telling her they loved her, and she says they're annoying. Well, I'm part of her statistic now. Now I'm just gonna give it all up and totally forget this has ever happened, and refresh again I just hope to meet the girl who would appreciate me for who I am and what I will give and love them. Well, I hope she would be reading this, because after all, the person who wrote this story was the boy in the man inside me.
I hope dear readers you guys would understand this. And to the girl I write this story to, I still do love you.
Update: Used to love you. Posting this up again.
Love and signed,
Benjamin Wong
Benjamin Wong
.bmp)
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